TITLE: Spiral Down
AUTHOR: Rhetta
RATING: PG
FEEDBACK: pindaran@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: The 'X-Files' belong to Chris Carter, 1013,
and FOX. Think of this as a friendly loan.
SUMMARY: That would be telling. <g>
AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wrote this for the IWTBXF Ikebana
Challenge, which was to write a character piece and have people
try and guess who it was. If you're curious to know who this is
feel free to e-mail me. I'm willing to give hints. <g>

**********

I dream of screams. Soul-wrenching cries of fear.
Heart-shattering yells of pain. Quiet sobs of desperation
and hopelessness.

I wake to silent accusation. To eyes filled with hate.
Motions laced with grief. And a heavy blanket of guilt that
covers everything with a suffocating darkness.

I pushed away all those that mattered to me. All those I loved.
All those that could have saved me.

I wanted the answers to everything. The keys to open every door.
The Truth. No matter what it cost me or anyone else.

I deserved what I got.

Now I'm surrounded by lies masquerading as Truth. By choices
made that can never be taken back. By Truths that carry a price
no one should ever have to pay.

I've become what I hated. What I thought I could never be.

My days are filled with a futile search for redemption. For
forgiveness from those I love.

My nights are filled with screams. I can't tell which are mine
and which are hers.

I don't think it makes a difference anymore.